Can I Trust Myself?
Last blog post before you can officially pre order my book, TOMORROW!
In the meantime, I am so excited to tell you about a show I went to the other night, hosted by incredible leaders including Abby Wambach (retired US women's national team soccer player who has scored more goals in her career than any male or female on the planet) and Glennon Doyle (author of one of Oprah's book club book choices, activist, and nonprofit founder).
I got at least 10,000 takeaways from the night, but I'll narrow it down to my two favorites:
Trust yourself
You were given a purpose long before anyone had an opinion about it, even if that opinion was your own.
Their words and lives reassured my soul that I could connect with people in the world and took shame and isolation from my life's struggles. Sometimes we don't realize how much we crave empathy and connection until we receive it. And I received it in a room full of women who felt the same way, and needed the same thing.
Abby spoke about her experience as a woman -
How that she's realized that we were taught as females our whole lives, starting from infancy, to stay on the path and not trust ourselves, or else the big bad wolf will eat us, or we will prick our fingers on a spindle and fall asleep forever until we are saved and learn our lesson. Don't be curious, don't trust your intuition, are the messages we are sent from a young age.
Glennon added on and talked about the difference between her son and daughters - when they both have friends over and she asks the question, "Is anyone hungry?"
The response from the boys is exactly what she wants, easy and normal. Their eyes did not move from the television while they were playing video games and answering. They looked into their stomach, decided if it felt hungry, the stomach's response went up to their lips and came out of their mouths without needing to look anywhere else, and they all said in unison, "Yeah."
The girls immediately took their eyes off the TV, and looked at each other, eyes darting between one another. They telepathically appointed a leader to communicate for each of them, and the chosen one turns around and says to Glennon, "We're good, thank you."
What happened there?
This is what she observed: The boys looked inside of themselves, listened to their gut (literally), and responded without a thought.
The girls looked outside of themselves, to each other, not trusting what would happen if they made the decision on their own, when the answer was inside of them to something ONLY they knew the answer to. Why are they looking at their friends to tell them if they are hungry? How do their friends know!!!
We can't even answer what our physical gut is telling us the answer is, because we are taught not to. We believe we can't. If we listen to ourselves, something bad could happen. We are wrong about something only we could be right about. We will not be accepted for following what we KNOW is the right thing. We will get in trouble. Somebody probably knows better.
The mistrust and fear are eating us up. How many good and right things could we do if we listened to ourselves instead of looking to the world? If we sat still with God and ourselves, instead of searching for a million opinions?
Glennon shared how, upon finding out her husband had cheated on her for the duration of their 13 year marriage, the first thing she did was googled "What to do when you find out your husband has been unfaithful to you for 10 years." She then said,
“If you are a woman who finds yourself googling what you should do about something, you are a woman who should be being still and listening for God.”
She further says that a lot of the time we ask God for a 5 year plan, and all he gives us is the next best thing. We ask him for a plan, and he just keeps telling us that we’re loved. So what do we have to do? The next best thing. And you know what that thing is. It's inside of you.
Glennon is a recovered addict, bulimic, and alcoholic. She shares about a time when she was on the bathroom floor when she was 26, still in the throws of her addictions, and holding a pregnancy test - that was positive. She said that in that moment, there was no one less qualified to be a mother. Yet, there was an invitation. For her. And she accepted it.
As someone continuing to live in recovery from an eating disorder, there was no one less qualified than me to write this book, and yet there was an invitation. For me. I took it.
Can we please stop doubting ourselves? And stop doubting if we are qualified for the open opportunities offered clearly to us?
Don’t wait until you’re ready. Trust the inviter. Get up and go with me.
No one is prepared for something they’ve never done or experienced before, which is any experience in your life in the future.
And no one is capable of telling you when you are ready for that. Only God can invite you into it. Trust the inviter, and trust yourself - because He trusts you. He invited you. Like was said at the beginning - you were given a purpose long before anyone had an opinion about it, even if that opinion was your own, or is your own.
This book pours out my soul, it's difficult to feel "ready," or to know exactly what that means. It’s certainly not a masterpiece. But where else do we start? Someone needs to. I have not perfected recovery. But has anyone? Am I going to stop myself and wait to make a difference until I've figured it all out (guess you'll never hear from me again then…)?
I have a million fears and insecurities. Yet, it all fell into place. It's happening. I took the invitation. And I'm inviting you to join me in the party of accepting invitations to parties. To your roles, that only you can fill. Accept yours. Trust you, trust Him. You are not going to get eaten by a big bad wolf. But you are part of a big Wolfpack of women like Abby, Glennon, and me. Welcome to the Wolfpack.
If any of this touches you, listen to or read any podcast or book or speech by Glennon Doyle or Abby Wambach.
Also, click the preorder button so that I can notify you tomorrow as soon as my book is available to preorder! WOOHOO!
Together Live - Glennon on microhone